Saturday, September 4, 2010

Escape to New York

This past week in my new job, I was lucky enough to walk into two financing transactions that were basically overnight deals, a lot of work for a very short time, and then a glorious and successful closing for each. Just the kind of deals that securities-lawyers-who-also-happen-to-be-mothers-of -young children love. No (or at least very few) long nights stressing over numerous documents. No argumentative drafting or negotiating sessions with opposing counsel. No travel schedules to manage. And in the end, everyone wins... $500million is raised very quickly and at a very low interest rate.
But during one of the few face to face meetings that we had with opposing counsel during these deals (these days, everything is done via email), I had the opportunity to talk to the second year female associate on the other side of the deal. The first remarkable thing about this conversation is that this second year female associate was at the same firm where I was one of a handful of female partners in the office until two weeks ago, and in fact, she was just a few doors down from me. I am the first to admit that since Sadie was born, I wasn't very social in my job and gave next to no time to any marketing roles, as I wanted to bill my hours, service my clients, and then get home to Sadie as fast as I could. So it is kind of a sad admission to say that now that I left the firm, and am part time at another firm, I had my first conversation with this female version of who I was 16 or so years ago (gosh that makes me feel old).
But the second remarkable thing about this conversation (more meaningful to me than my own tacit admission that I sucked at mentoring anyone over the toddler age for the last three years), is that this woman confessed that she has never been to New York City. And it wasn't the fact that she hadn't been there on her own vacation time that stunned me (when I was her age, my last true vacation to New York City had been my 6th grade field trip there when I saw a bird fly into the World Trade Center and hit the glass and die, about a foot from my shoulder). Instead, it was the fact that she hadn't traveled to New York City in her work as a securities lawyer.
Last night (three days following said conversation), after my first day off as a part-time lawyer during which I did a Bob Harper exercise DVD, mountain biked with Mark for almost two hours, and then sorted through mounds of old baby clothes collecting bags to go to Goodwill and then taking them there, I was as tired as I think I have been in months. And I knew exactly what to do to unwind... return to my safe place. Crawl into bed at 9 something at night and watch a couple of On-Demand episodes of Sex and The City. My escape back to New York. Carrie and the girls, and admittedly, Big, have gotten me through many exhausted-yet-sleepness nights since they originally aired on HBO.
I spent a lot of time in New York as a young securities lawyer. Perhaps that is more remarkable than the fact that this other second year associate hadn't been there at all... I mean, what's a law graduate from a law school ranked 123rd the year I graduated (and yes, I am proud) practicing in the small city of Richmond, Virginia actually doing traveling to New York City regularly? But I did. And it was great.
The memories of those trips run together now, and perhaps, they grow rosier in time. While sometimes we would travel in a client's corporate jet, more often we would fly commercial and arrive at the airport a mere 20-25 minutes before take off time. No fear for lengthly airport security those days. Our meetings were often held at the various buildings in the World Trade Center and sometimes we would stay at the Marriott located right there. Other times, as we became more seasoned travelers, we would pick our hotels based on where we wanted to eat dinner following the meetings, or the proximity to Central Park for morning jogs. Drinks at the Oak Room in the Plaza were fairly routine. Dinner at the restaurants in the first several listings of Zagat's guide. Shopping at Bergdorf and other places that Richmond lacked. I remember buying Kiehl's shampoo on those trips for use back home. Heck, when I first started traveling to New York City for work, Richmond didn't have a Starbucks anywhere near where I lived in the Fan. Imagine going to the City where I could walk out of my hotel and have a grande coffee every single morning on my way to work.
Seeing the U.S. Open as I tried to find Sadie her show on Nick, Jr. today reminded me of our annual trip that we would take to NYC to watch the Open, care of a financial printer who we worked closely with. Most viewing was from the box with its own chef whose name began with "T" but which for the life of me I just can't remember now. But there were also two seats which were courtside, and a dozen or so of us "clients" could rotate and watch a match or two in the second row of Center Court. This was the life!
Mark and I met through work and we got to partake in a lot of these events together. What's not to like when you are dating someone and you get to take these kinds of trips together. When we got married six years ago, our wedding included a lot of our friends through work from law firms, corporations, and investment banks. One of those investment bankers planned a work trip for me which was actually a ruse for Mark to propose. Those are the bonds that form when you work together so closely, and for such long hours, as we did for so many years.
In a silly way of viewing things, in a way it was awfully convenient that my own journey into motherhood happened to coincide with the collapse of the financial markets. I never had to turn down trips like those ones so I could be at home to see Sadie each night... they just didn't happen nearly as often anymore. Unfortunately, most of the very friends that we worked so closely with lost their jobs. In a way, I get to be like the selfish teenage girl who says if she can't go to the party, she hopes it will get cancelled so no one else can have fun without her.
But I will be the first to admit that there have been a lot of nights when I have come home to my life that is here right now, and miss my life that was there back then. Who doesn't miss waking up in a room at The Plaza? Oh, to just wake up to a computer generated wake-up call at 7:45 sounds heavenly right now.
Just today, Mark handed me a towel that we have from The Plaza. It wasn't a romantic gesture of a memory (even though we stayed there several times this very same weekend when we went to watch the Open). No, this time he threw me the towel in response to me shouting from the shower "Next time you decide to wash the bath towels I really wish you would put a second set out so I wouldn't find myself sopping wet from the shower with no towel!" The Plaza towel that he threw me isn't exactly our "second set".... it is a dog bathing towel actually, that somehow made its way from the basement to the abyss that is our hall linen closet (suggesting that Daisy has gotten a bath or shower upstairs recently). No, we aren't spending time these days reliving the memories of our dating life travels to New York. We are dividing and conquering instead, who throws in the laundry, who takes the load to Goodwill, who walks the dog, who gets Sadie her lunch, etc.
But for several moments since my conversation with that young female associate on Thursday of this week, I thought how lucky I was to get to experience that life for the years that I did. And I thought how silly it is to think of those days as "peaceful" compared to what my life is like now. I wouldn't go back to them now, but I am glad I had them then.

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