We have had an incredible Christmas. And I mean that from Halloween through this week, basically. Faith gave us the most incredible nanny in early November and she has influenced Sadie in a truly wonderful way. The whole experience shined a bright light on a faith journey that I have been fumbling on recently, which made the whole Advent and Christmas season so much deeper and more fulfilling than I could have ever wished for.
And Sadie, she just couldn't have been better. Her behavior (no tantrums!) was perfect, and her true belief in the birth of Jesus as well as the visit of Santa (guided by Rudolph, who was the shining start this Christmas and the story that she couldn't hear enough) was just inspiring. It was just all together great. We had a terrific time with my sister who visited for several days, a white Christmas, my parents were great when they came on Christmas day, and a visit with Mark's family later last week was just marvelous too. Sure our parents are aging and presenting more complicated health problems than we would like to be dealing with, but they are alive. It was just a great time all around (once the snow melted).
Yesterday Sadie had her first tearful meltdown "please don't go back to work day after tomorrow Mommy, can we have Christmas vacation for just a bit longer?" It made me tear up too.
But it couldn't all last. The tree (our second of the season after the Great Pine Beetle Infestation) must come down. The toys must be sorted through to fit the new ones in. It was a warm day today before the rain came and I got in a great long run. I was inspired to commit to my healthier living goals for resolutions, but to do that, I need to fit working out in every day, and working downtown with quick lunches at my desk allows me to do that much easier than being at home with Sadie does (we did a Mommy/Toddler yoga video today which was hilarious though). She needs to get back into a rhythm and so do we. I don't think we have woken up before 8 am in a week or more. Even the dog has a sense of relaxation that made me suspect carbon monoxide poisoning more than once (kidding!).
So tomorrow, we begin what I have always hated, the doldrums of January - March. Hated, despised, barely survived, countless times. Bad memories of so many struggles find themselves in those months. Meningitis, miscarriages, etc.
But hark back, four years ago now... God gave me Sadie in the midst of that period. My March 8th baby, with a due date just into spring, came to me instead squarely in winter. My last trimester with her was heaven, it was blessed, it was a Lenten Journey that yielded, not taketh away. I never thought I would celebrate a birth of a child in any other season than Summer, which was when Mark and I celebrate our birthdays, and when the most wonderful childhood memories are gathered. But no, she was a March baby. A reminder than in the periods of darkness, that is when the light is needed to shine.
So we start tomorrow, back to work, back to school, back to routine, and judging from tonight's dinner, back to tantrums. Part of me sees Spring in the distance. But a lot of me is saying to enjoy these moments, and begging them to slow down.
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