We have been here before...

One of the drawbacks of being a full time working mother (especially one that has a nanny who is incredibly talented with a digital camera) is that it was not unusual to have hundreds of pictures each month detailing places and occurences that I missed. And I say that's a "drawback" only because I would look at the pictures and the happy expression on my daughter's face and think "I should have been there for that trip". In fact, this skill in a nanny was invaluable -- we have some fantastic pictures of Sadie over the years having wonderful joy filled times. No mother ever truly wishes anything more for her child other than that she be happy and loved even when she's not there. There's not a single picture, in the literally two thousand or more than I have, where Sadie's expression indicates that she misses her mother, or frankly that she is lacking for anything (other than maybe a napkin for her face and hands!).

I would sift through the pictures though and imagine being there with them, exploring the territory, discovering whatever they discovered. Of course, my imaginations never had me running ragged after said child, or threatening to take away some privilege like icecream or television if she didn't follow my instructions, even though in reality I am sure those things occured during the week (as I know they did on the weekends).

Sadie and Lisa returned to Maymont today and I have 57 new digital photos documenting the experience. They go to Maymont several times a season, and after nearly three years of Lisa being Sadie's caregiver, we have lots of Maymont photos. But as I was going through today's pictures, I remembered that I had seen that very tree stump in a photo before. And so I found it, the picture on the right, taken early in the spring before Sadie turned one.

My parents used to take a photo of all the Misage kids on the stairs in our house before coming into the livingroom on Christmas morning. It was a neat tradition, and one day I am sure we will digitalize the 32 years of photos there, each taken exactly 365 days apart, and compare them to each other and remember that notch taken out of the bannister, or the way the carpet met the wall on that stair (or likely, the way that someone would chase someone else up or down the stairs). And of course, the remarkable "change yet stay the same" that each of my siblings and I had in our faces and hairstyles.

But these stump pictures... I guess they just struck me. In all our digital picture taking of Sadie and Daisy, I don't think we have the same scene captured quite the way we have it here. Sure we have the birthday picture of all the kids on the couch in our den for each of her parties, but similarly to the Misage family Christmas photo, the expression of the little ones is generally "finish the photo op and let's move on to the presents!" Gosh, we have documented impatience quite well. "Let me grow up already Mom!" is the telling caption in so many of our photos.

But I like these pictures because of the stillness them. The peace that only comes from sunshine on your face for more than an hour. Of being away from the bustle of the day and just plain exploring. How facinating is this stump! I can imagine that Sadie was thinking of that both of these times. I hope its there when we happen on it again!